-No, please, stay. We can fix it. I pray for it. It is my fault, but I can fix it. You have to try too.
-When do you pray, what do you pray for?
-I pray for God to crush me, break me up into little pieces and start all over again.
-Please, don’t pray for that.
-I had a book Bible Stories when I was a kid and there was this picture that I’d look 20 times every day: Jacob wrestles with the angel. I don’t really remember the story or why they’re wresting. Just the picture. Jacob is young and very strong; the angel is a beautiful man with golden hair and wings, of course. I still dream about it, many nights. And it’s me… in that struggle. Fierce and unfair. The angel is not human and holds nothing back. So how could anyone human win? What kind of fight is that? It’s not just. Sail thrown down in the dist, your heart torn out from God’s, but you can’t not lose.
-In the whole entire world you’re the only person. The only person I love or have ever loved. I love you terribly. Terribly. That’s what’s so awfully, irreducibly real. I can up anything, but I can’t dream that away.
-Are you…? Are you really gonna have a baby?
-It’s my time and there’s no blood. I don’t really know. I suppose it wouldn’t be a great thing. Maybe I’m just not bleeding because I take too many pills. Maybe I’ll give a birth to a pill. I would change everything about pills-popping.
-When do you pray, what do you pray for?
-I pray for God to crush me, break me up into little pieces and start all over again.
-Please, don’t pray for that.
-I had a book Bible Stories when I was a kid and there was this picture that I’d look 20 times every day: Jacob wrestles with the angel. I don’t really remember the story or why they’re wresting. Just the picture. Jacob is young and very strong; the angel is a beautiful man with golden hair and wings, of course. I still dream about it, many nights. And it’s me… in that struggle. Fierce and unfair. The angel is not human and holds nothing back. So how could anyone human win? What kind of fight is that? It’s not just. Sail thrown down in the dist, your heart torn out from God’s, but you can’t not lose.
-In the whole entire world you’re the only person. The only person I love or have ever loved. I love you terribly. Terribly. That’s what’s so awfully, irreducibly real. I can up anything, but I can’t dream that away.
-Are you…? Are you really gonna have a baby?
-It’s my time and there’s no blood. I don’t really know. I suppose it wouldn’t be a great thing. Maybe I’m just not bleeding because I take too many pills. Maybe I’ll give a birth to a pill. I would change everything about pills-popping.
1 comment:
putz
amo Angels in America
(:
x.
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